many of us might have been taught to give.. and give freely..
is it bad? nope, i don't think so..
and as polite as i can be, i try to as giving as i can afford..
but there's one thing i forgot while i was doing this..
i forgot to receive..
for many years, i tried to be as humble and polite as possible.. when people offer to give me things (a treat, sweets, chocolates, gifts, or anything) - even help - i often politely rejected them, thinkin that i don't wanna bother them.. the reason makes sense, it even sounds good..
but i realized it ain't so right, after all..
1st, behind that reason, i realized that it wasn't so much about bothering people.. it was about my pride.. i didn't wanna receive from anyone so that i don't owe anything to anyone.. i don't wanna be dependent on other people.. i wanna prove myself that i can survive this life alone, without help from anyone else.. that i don't need anyone.. it was pride, not so much concern.. after some thought, i realized that receiving something implies that i am willing to take part in someone else's sacrifice and a declaration that someone else has (been allowed to) become a part of my life.. hence, receiving might actually be a form of humility..
2nd, in many cases, the fact that someone has offered help implies that he/she have already thought about it in the first place and considered that the offer was worth his/her bother.. so most of the time, the excuse of "bothering someone" is invalid.. cuz the offerer has already calculated that before making the offer to give or to help..
3rd, in some cases, rejecting a gift or an offer of help can be quite insulting, especially if the help was insisted and sincere.. because it implies that i didn't consider that gift worthy enough to accept.. example? if my aunt offers me her own handmade cookies at her house.. or if i am visiting a friend's place and was offered to join them for dinner.. and many other circumstances.. so i must really be quick to read situations like these..
4th, and i would say, one of the most important considerations for those who have passed through my 1st, 2nd, and 3rd point:
HOW CAN ANYONE LEARN HOW TO GIVE IF NO ONE IS WILLING TO RECEIVE?
for example, simple things like when a friend offers to treat me for a meal or a drink..
in this i have to remind myself that receiving help or offers can sometimes help to teach people how to give.. but of course, i still need to give even more than what i receive, in order to keep myself a credible example of giving..
so while we give continually n freely, let us receive too.. if we give more and we learn to receive from others, wouldn't the world be a better place?
Receiving is a part of giving - giving up our pride. How can anyone learn how to give if we aren't humble enough to receive?
lesson #50: Everyone is different..
15 years ago
2 comments:
Whoops, sorry I may be out of your topic.
I just want to comment on your pride idea. You may say you don't want to be dependent nor owe anything to anyone.
Then, are you sure you are able to survive this life alone?
the answer is NO..
as much as i want to be independent, i realize life wasn't made for me to live alone.. i need people, friends, n family, including you..
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