lesson #45: Gentle words can make a difference...

holidays're in and for those who ain't flyin back to their homelands, we've found ways to spend the time together in Singapore... one of them involves goin over to one of our rooms n havin (legal) fun, like playin Risk n sippin a little mix of gin n juice...

we were laughin, shoutin, and a lotta excitement (the gin didn't make us drunk, luckily...).. this we did with so much fun until we didn't realize the time showed 0130hours... and sadly, we forgot that we ain't the only ones livin in a hall... some people ain't "alive" at such unhealthy hours...

expected yet unanticipated, the night guard on patrol knocked on my friend's room door... Crap, i told myself.. (the last time this happened, the guard was such a jerk i was so pissed i wished i could pounce on him n beat the living hell outta him..) ..

but that night was different...

the guard didn't yell.. he didn't put on a Punch-me-til-i-bleed-cuz-im-sucha-jerk face... in fact, he smiled.. he politely asked us to quieten down.. cuz at the decibel levels we're producin, it seemed like we had pissed some hall residents enough for them to complain to the guard...

he asked us a favor... so that he wouldn't get another complaint..

and unlike my previous encounter, i reacted with a lot more respect for this man... i respect him for his patience n tact when dealing with rebellious post-teen-yet-not-adult-enough individuals like us, includin me...

and we ended thankin him for lettin us know our vice n he left us to our own discretion.. and trust me, i kept remindin my friends to tone down our volume.. out of respect for him..

although i've been trainin myself to use gentle words n a soft approach in dealing with people, especially strangers, that night was the first time in a long time where i was at the other end... i was the one hearin those words directed at me... and i felt the difference it made...

though dealing with different people might require different approaches, it might be possible to start with gentle words in any scenario (except in life-threatening danger)... at least when talkin to teens n adults (who - like me - don't like being told by Mr-and-Mrs-Right...)...

so who knows, using some tact n a string of gentle words are actually effective enough to get the job done...

Gentle words can make a difference. It might even make someone calm enough to listen to what you're saying.

lesson #44: The means don't justify the end...

with the holidays in, ive started gettin bored of nothin to do... and ive started using Youtube to watch Discovery Channel programmes... and one of the most interestin topic ive been watchin for these few days pertain to somethin ive jus recently considered to be quite controversial: future weapons.

as someone with interest in technology and science - tho without much of the brain capacity to achieve academic excellence in them - i found myself amazed at the amount of engineering precision n creativity in creating weapons... the bullet mechanism, the bullet and projectile, the versatility in extreme conditions.. they are the proof of technological excellence..

added to my liking for first-person-shooter (FPS) games, the extra knowledge about modern weapons and how they work intrigued me a lot.. these tools were the result of thousands of hours of effort, testing, and brainwork.. these tools were finely created for their purpose: to kill.

amazingly, it took some time until i realized that i was somewhat perverse enough to develop this interest in weapons.. it took another friend of mine to tell me that i was talkin to him about a killing machine.. i was actually intrigued by the sophisticated mechanism created to take another human life.. and in the background, i can barely see God squinting His eyes and murmuring, "Why in the world are YOU WOWed about killing off my other creation?? Are YOU any worth more than them?? I asked you to help Me save them, not kill them.."

and it hit me...

why, why am i interested in the various (and effective) ways in takin out a life of someone else? have my morals been so compromised to the point that i have no objections to killing? have i been so insensitive? have i got any love left for the rest of the world?..

i don't object to technological advancement.. most of us don't.. cuz in some way, it reveals how smart our Creator must be that we humans are such creative beings.. but then, that's how we are supposed to live, right? Creative... not Destructive...

and next time im gonna create somethin, or the next time im gonna say "Wow" to somethin, maybe i gotta figure out the ending that's supposed to follow it...

The means don't justify the end. So know what you're into.

a thank you note..

to those who have been reading this blog and those who have let me know that they benefitted from its existence...

i sincerely thank you...
these words that follow are only an explanation to the line above.. i treasure u much for lettin me know that this blog has lived to its purpose.. i created this blog to remind myself of the things that pass me by, the things that sometimes i'd often take for granted..

n i was hopin that somehow, sometime, for some reason, it might help someone else out there.. and i thank God for lettin things happen in ur lives that u feel tho i can't see..

thank u for ur encouragements.. not a coincidence, ur support comes when i felt tired of continuin this blog..

keep livin.. and lets all try to appreciate the little wonders in life..

thank you...

lesson #43: Be loving...

i'm mentionin the 4-letter word again here.. cuz this is wat i've thinkin about in many things that i do...

so what is "love"? (this is gonna be a long one, but it might be worth the eye bags...)

lemme start from somethin near outta point: ProEvolution Soccer 2008.
heard of it? well, it's a game i play every night before i go to sleep (instead of the usual bedtime stories)... it's a game of virtual soccer where u can score goals (and concede one) without breakin a sweat.. however, i realized that though the sweat ain't there, my emotions can run high... i've learnt many lessons from computer games.. and this one jus gave me another one...

as a background, 2 days ago i re-installed my Windows XP Professional (thank GOD it ain't durin exams, or else i'd well be stressed dead)... thanks to GOD again, my documents weren't eliminated (tho i half-readied myself if i was that unlucky to lose that much data)... but as a consequence, my ProEvolution Soccer 6 (another older version, but one which i like more n play more often) was uninstalled too... and to add the problem, i had problems installin it again... and man, i needed my bedtime-game..

hall-pissed, i installed the ProEvolution Soccer 2008 (i dun blame ya if u're confused)... i played it before, but i didn't really like the graphics n all... but i needed a game, so who cares?..

then, i set up a new account on
MASTER LEAGUE (meaning: i play with a team year by year as their skills develop, while i also can buy new players n sell my ones)
and i chose to
CREATE A NEW TEAM (meaning: i get to set up a new team, get very basic players, and design their logo, team jersey, supporters, n stuff)
and i chose the difficulty
REGULAR (meaning: tougher than Beginner n Amateur, easier than Professional n Top Player.. 3stars out of 5stars.. which is already quite challenging... and that made my basic players even more like idiots on a posh lawn...)

and so, i started playin...
so far, i've lost 3 matches. draw 3 matches, won none (dude, i think i'm gonna be relegated next season)... and i've definitely lost temper in at least 4 of them... the computer was so good i felt like an idiot...
my players skills were near to crap that i lost in sprints, got knocked off so easily while fightin for the ball, and had a defense which was close to havin none...
i was so pissed i've caused some noise in my room (my roommate can testify to that)... i've thrown around my wallet, tissue roll, bolster, pillow, and other stuff in my room when i get so mad when conceding a goal... i've even slammed my keyboard a few times (thank GOD it's still workin..) and slammed the table a lotta times (until the side of my palm aches til now...)

so what's my point?
i gotta work with these annoying, low-skilled soccerball amateurs and suffer losses nearly everytime i play (and hopefully not lose my right hand, keyboard, and wallet too)... i gotta put up with the times they didn't follow the command i keyed in (or when they're too exhausted to do so anyway).. i gotta survive a bad-ending bedtime story n develop some kinda control when i'm severely pissed off (like the 2 times i had a lead n ended up with a loss)....

and when i was in rage, somethin clicked...

sometimes i, too, work with people who are annoying to the core, trouble-makers, and no-brain slackers (forgive me for my rudeness.. maybe i'm one of them anyway)... sometimes, i'm even in one team with them! interestingly, many times i get to be the leader (cuz either they dun wanna work or they trust me with the leadership)..

and to be the leader, i gotta delegate...
now, how da heavens do i delegate the work to someone who has lower capability than me? (assumin i'm right, of course)... how can i rely on someone unreliable to do work for the team? what if he/she screws up? what if we have to pay the consequences? how can i trust someone less qualified than me?

and the answer i found was: to trust them anyway.

i dunno bout u, but i got my lessons from the Bible... i'm now who i am cuz i was given a LOTTA blessings from GOD... and GOD uses me to do a lotta things for Him... but u know what? i was never perfect.. in fact, i often saw myself as a failure, someone who's only capable of doin wrong things the whole time... if i did somethin well, i'd consider some luck n not of my credit...

so, eventhough i'm as imperfect as hell, GOD worked with me anyway... He let me do His stuff anyway... even tho most of the time i screw up...

well, i kinda figured this thing about a year ago... and i started to give tasks to team members who might seem like they're incapable.. i encouraged them to rise to the task at hand while preparin myself to clean up the mess if they ever made one... it was a great feat for a perfectionist like me...

i learnt that by trustin others whom people don't really trust, i'm actually loving them... tho people say they can't, i give em a benefit of a doubt... tho the task may be less than perfectly done, i'm actually givin them a chance to participate n a chance to learn some (from success or failure)... and i've started to become more practical, accepting to others, and willing to trust people more...

so maybe, i gotta be a lot more patient with my soccer players,
and we gotta be much more loving with our teammates... by trusting them with small things first, and increasing that trust as they rise up to the challenge u've given them...

Be loving to those around you. Things don't have to be THAT perfect.

lesson #42: Know what real love means...

ok, in case u dont know, i start from lesson#42 cuz i wanna start fresh but continuin from my other blog.. if i ever got the time, i'll translate all that Indonesian to English.. when i have the time... lets see WHEN that happens...

alrighty, back to my post..
why did i come up with this so-u-think-u-know-bout-love title? cuz i dont fully know... duh..
but it might seem like people who dont know either are acting like they do... maybe it aint wrong.. maybe it is... i aint gonna judge whether u outta know or not... but i was hopin we could use the word with some slightest idea of what in heaven it means... (cuz i cant say "what de hell", right?)

umm.. where do i start?...
ok, lets start from me losing my laptop a loooong time ago (to make things worse, it was near Christmas... what luck)... and endin up bein near to bored-to-death in my hall during holidays... findin myself without computer games to knock myself out, i figured i'd try new things on the web (decent ones, dude... chill..)..

so i went to Yahoo! (yeah, i did..trust me)... and my curiosity drove me to click on Yahoo! Answers.. (click sound)..

and there they were: questions of all sorts.. from everywhere, from everyone, to be answered by anyone... and they were all neatly categorized so u could put or answer a question according to the categories... they also got this point system where u get points for loggin in, answerin people's questions, and u gotta use ur points if u wanna ask a question.. and the asker can choose the best answer.. and the guy whose answer was deemed best will be rewarded with more points!

so i was curious... what do people ask?
and man, they ask A LOT... new questions come every minute... from around the world...

so bein the Mr I-think-I-know-a-lotta-things, i went to look at the list of categories.. clueless at all the technical categories, i clicked on somethin i thought i know a little of (tho i might be really wrong) : Family & Relationships.

dude, there're really a LOTTA questions (sorry for the repetition)... so i looked at some questions.. and after figurin i might have a clue on some stuff, i started to open the questions... and, not surprisingly, 98% (dun worry, i didnt count) of them mentioned the word love...

"Does he love me?" "Is this love?" "I think I'm in love" "Is there such thing as true love?"
funny?...kinda.. but u know, at least they asked... so i answered them with what i know... and of course, bein the Christian that i am, i gotta be answerin them accordin to the stuff i know bout Christianity...

i answered more... and more... and went on to answerin things bout unfaithful girlfriends, crushes, arranged marriage and all sortsa stuff... and by the end of the holiday, ive gotten a quarter of my answers chosen as best answers... interestin, i thought.. what in heavens did i say?.. since when do i know stuff bout love n relationships?... (again, for ur info, ive always been a single.. and i havent been successful in any boy-girl relationships)

my point?
a LOTTA people dont know what real love is... they havent a clue what it means to love n be loved... and sometimes, they gotta ask other people who dont know it either... and man, i got kinda tired answerin different people who're askin roughly the same questions... (and i dont use templates.. they aint personal..)

so if we havent got a spark of what love is, lets find an answer... and once we do, then i think its only right that we start tellin people out there what love is... they need answers...

Know what real love means, then start lettin others know about it too.

An initial post...

HEYYA!!

welcome to my blog - English blog, actually...

actually i already have a blog on http://daniel-cmunjoontuck.blogspot.com but unfortunately, it's in Bahasa Indonesia.. which is somewhat French to many...

so why an English blog?
well, i figured since my friends consists more than just Indonesian, maybe its a lil more courteous to share my thoughts with the English-speaking community (whoever u are)... the plan is to keep this English blog as a parallel to my Indonesian blog... yeah, that means writin twice for me (oh gosh)... jus for the info, i think im gonna use italics for things that my mind says (somethin like that...)

but since i already think in English, maybe writin this one'd be somewhat a lil more fun... (when writin posts in the other blog, i actually gotta translate my own thoughts into my mother tongue - that sounds weird..but forget it..)

well, to cut the story short, here's my life... and the thoughts that fill my days...