lesson #50: Everyone is different..

honestly, three years ago, i wouldn't imagine myself writing this..

why?
cuz i was one proud, self-righteous, and judgmental jerk (tho i was about to write b****rd).. and though i might not've shown it obviously, now that i look back upon myself, i can see it rather plainly.. and hell, it looks gross..

well, what was it like?
mm.. i usually kept myself cool, calm, n confident (the triple C.. this was a tagline for some cigarette ad).. the reason was so that i would look secure, independent, and blameless.. i wanna be someone people respect.. i dun wanna say things that aren't intelligent lest they think of me otherwise.. i appear good in front of everyone..

and?
and they don't know that inside, i thought of myself as one of the best.. that others should act the way i expect them too.. they should talk smart or keep their mouths shut.. stop acting childishly n think deeper.. should always go the extra mile n make the most effort in everythin.. according to my standards..

and your point is...?
i judged others according to what i think is the right way to live.. i hated those who didn't do things my way.. and especially those who offended me in the slightest way (im ok with friends who make fun of me, but when a stranger does, i boil..really boil.. and thank God he never let me own a gun)... i evaluated people's lives according to my set of moral rules..

to make more sense, let's list down the things that once "downgraded" someone's "value" in my eyes:
- coming late for an appointment or meeting
- being a leader who doesn't "dirty his/her hands" enough while working with his/her subordinates
- not following up (to my expectations) on a commitment previously made
- physically hurting me without saying sorry straight afterwards
- making fun of me when he/she has only met me once..
- not following basic social rules, for example, when people wait to get in the MRT by standing beyond the yellow line and obstructing those coming out of the train (and unfortunately for them, i'd usually barge thru them, knock them aside, n show a cold face as i smile inside.. luckily, i was concerned somewhat about the triple C.. if not, i'd punch them right in the face)..
- etc

and you still do that?
mm.. some still kinda lingers on (like the MRT example), but im tryin to cut down on them..

and yes, ive managed to reduce many of these judgments.. (and my outward reactions to them)
and the next question would be.. how?

mm.. i'm not sure.. but i think it's a mix of the following:
- realizing how imperfect i am myself.. and being constantly reminded of that fact
- realizing that nobody can be perfect.. yet God cares anyway..
- readin my bible n realizing that God can work thru people who are a lot worse than i thought..
- love covers differences.. and that's how we make friends..

realizing all this, i now treat others with a lot more love than i did before.. not perfect yet, of course, but i'd call it an improvement.. i don't judge people (especially strangers) as fast as i did last time.. i no longer impose my personal standards in other people's lives without knowing who they are beforehand.. and i've learnt a little of how to present constructive feedback with love and patience other than talking behind people's back.. i've also become more sensitive about gossiping, realizing that i should talk about other people if it is constructive or corrective other than for mere expression of feelings..

and i'm thankful i've realized all this..

well, up until now, that's where my reflection ends.. maybe i'll still figure out more things about myself.. hopefully, though, the more i learn, the more i can change myself to become who i'm meant to be..

Everyone is different. Love them all, but treat them uniquely.