i'm mentionin the 4-letter word again here.. cuz this is wat i've thinkin about in many things that i do...
so what is "love"? (this is gonna be a long one, but it might be worth the eye bags...)
lemme start from somethin near outta point: ProEvolution Soccer 2008.
heard of it? well, it's a game i play every night before i go to sleep (instead of the usual bedtime stories)... it's a game of virtual soccer where u can score goals (and concede one) without breakin a sweat.. however, i realized that though the sweat ain't there, my emotions can run high... i've learnt many lessons from computer games.. and this one jus gave me another one...
as a background, 2 days ago i re-installed my Windows XP Professional (thank GOD it ain't durin exams, or else i'd well be stressed dead)... thanks to GOD again, my documents weren't eliminated (tho i half-readied myself if i was that unlucky to lose that much data)... but as a consequence, my ProEvolution Soccer 6 (another older version, but one which i like more n play more often) was uninstalled too... and to add the problem, i had problems installin it again... and man, i needed my bedtime-game..
hall-pissed, i installed the ProEvolution Soccer 2008 (i dun blame ya if u're confused)... i played it before, but i didn't really like the graphics n all... but i needed a game, so who cares?..
then, i set up a new account on
MASTER LEAGUE (meaning: i play with a team year by year as their skills develop, while i also can buy new players n sell my ones)
and i chose to
CREATE A NEW TEAM (meaning: i get to set up a new team, get very basic players, and design their logo, team jersey, supporters, n stuff)
and i chose the difficulty
REGULAR (meaning: tougher than Beginner n Amateur, easier than Professional n Top Player.. 3stars out of 5stars.. which is already quite challenging... and that made my basic players even more like idiots on a posh lawn...)
and so, i started playin...
so far, i've lost 3 matches. draw 3 matches, won none (dude, i think i'm gonna be relegated next season)... and i've definitely lost temper in at least 4 of them... the computer was so good i felt like an idiot...
my players skills were near to crap that i lost in sprints, got knocked off so easily while fightin for the ball, and had a defense which was close to havin none...
i was so pissed i've caused some noise in my room (my roommate can testify to that)... i've thrown around my wallet, tissue roll, bolster, pillow, and other stuff in my room when i get so mad when conceding a goal... i've even slammed my keyboard a few times (thank GOD it's still workin..) and slammed the table a lotta times (until the side of my palm aches til now...)
so what's my point?
i gotta work with these annoying, low-skilled soccerball amateurs and suffer losses nearly everytime i play (and hopefully not lose my right hand, keyboard, and wallet too)... i gotta put up with the times they didn't follow the command i keyed in (or when they're too exhausted to do so anyway).. i gotta survive a bad-ending bedtime story n develop some kinda control when i'm severely pissed off (like the 2 times i had a lead n ended up with a loss)....
and when i was in rage, somethin clicked...
sometimes i, too, work with people who are annoying to the core, trouble-makers, and no-brain slackers (forgive me for my rudeness.. maybe i'm one of them anyway)... sometimes, i'm even in one team with them! interestingly, many times i get to be the leader (cuz either they dun wanna work or they trust me with the leadership)..
and to be the leader, i gotta delegate...
now, how da heavens do i delegate the work to someone who has lower capability than me? (assumin i'm right, of course)... how can i rely on someone unreliable to do work for the team? what if he/she screws up? what if we have to pay the consequences? how can i trust someone less qualified than me?
and the answer i found was: to trust them anyway.
i dunno bout u, but i got my lessons from the Bible... i'm now who i am cuz i was given a LOTTA blessings from GOD... and GOD uses me to do a lotta things for Him... but u know what? i was never perfect.. in fact, i often saw myself as a failure, someone who's only capable of doin wrong things the whole time... if i did somethin well, i'd consider some luck n not of my credit...
so, eventhough i'm as imperfect as hell, GOD worked with me anyway... He let me do His stuff anyway... even tho most of the time i screw up...
well, i kinda figured this thing about a year ago... and i started to give tasks to team members who might seem like they're incapable.. i encouraged them to rise to the task at hand while preparin myself to clean up the mess if they ever made one... it was a great feat for a perfectionist like me...
i learnt that by trustin others whom people don't really trust, i'm actually loving them... tho people say they can't, i give em a benefit of a doubt... tho the task may be less than perfectly done, i'm actually givin them a chance to participate n a chance to learn some (from success or failure)... and i've started to become more practical, accepting to others, and willing to trust people more...
so maybe, i gotta be a lot more patient with my soccer players,
and we gotta be much more loving with our teammates... by trusting them with small things first, and increasing that trust as they rise up to the challenge u've given them...
Be loving to those around you. Things don't have to be THAT perfect.
lesson #50: Everyone is different..
15 years ago